generation snap

Friday after school was a time for my father and I to bond. Usually he would pick me up after work over at my caretakers home and we would hit the fastfood restaurant of my choice. Hardees was the most logical, it was close to his apartment, and they had the Hardees town toys. Each meal provided a small town that made up a larger town that I stored at my grandparents home. I would eat my fries first, nibble at the buger while tenderly tearing the town out of its Hardee's Meal box. I would sip down the softdrink slowly, and save a little to wash down my burger. Of course my meal wasn't complete without chewing on the straw. My dad hated that habit. We would finish up at Hardees, hop in the car and drive to my second home in the Hi-rise. I enjoyed my weekends with my dad but this apartment was such a dreary place. Usually, we would sit down, watch TV , eat ice cream and I would pass-out on the couch and wake up on Saturday in the bed. I would run erands with him all weekend, and eventually be dropped off at home the following morning for church. That was the routine.
One weekend, My mom insisted that he drop me off at church instead of at home. This meant that I had to bring my dress clothes and shoes with me for the weekend. It rained that weekend...I dropped my Dress clothes in a puddle of rain, and boy did I ever get a mouthfull...All of his stress from work, the divorce and who knows what came out at me...it was the most difficult memory that I can remember. I was in shear shock...I trembled in fear...what would happen to me I thought. After he calmed down, he gave me a choice. Get the spanking or do some work...(Now come on....what would you choose?) So, I did the work...Which made him even more upset, but he put together a punishment: Writing I will not drop my clothes 4000 times, and I had to trace his handwritting. I had to miss church that weekend which put me in a difficult position. Will my Mom be upset with me because I dropped my clothes? Of course not, it was a simple mistake she said, I just have to be more careful next time...

This past friday I had my usual practice schedule, Pick up my cousin from his mother's job, drive to basketball practice. Coach for 2 hours, grab some fast food and kickback watch the TV and fall asleep. My cousin stays the night with me so that he can play in the Rec Leagues on Saturday. He also plays on my team. We had a tough practice on Friday, and Saturdays Game didn't result in a win. I was depressed, needed a drink and was fortunate that I had friends who were feeling my down spirits and they boosted my morale with jokes, "look at the bright side" speeches etc. But no matter what, the Saturday was just another hole in my soul. You see losses on the court due to agressive and well coached teams do not concern me. Bad losses based on turnovers and lazy defense will have result in a poor evening for ray.

I celebrate my victories with a quiet dinner at Thaicoon, my local sushi spot. I review in my mind what we did to achieve and what we can do to become better. But often I think about those nights in Detroit. The times when my Dad wouldn't come to the babysitters and pick me up. The over the top bitter arguments that my dad would bellow out when you simply are being a child. Then I compare myself...Coach Ray..to the OG Bobby Sams. Tempers are similar. Lifestyle the same. Drama breeds yelling and longwinded whining. I learned this lesson recently and it has changed my life. Snap. just like that. A generation of suppressed childhood drama was passing before my eyes. My cousin JD was a witness. The details I can't reveal, but overall, I realized what being a man was. No, it wasn't proving yourself during stress. It is all about your word, your respect and how well you relate to others. I had a whole team of kids who reflected my own interpersonal drama. (Heavy shit...) I responded with yelling and screaming massive suicides and running...(Deep!) Meanwhile, I pointed the finger at them...as most coaches would. But that is the OG Bobby Sams. not me. I should have befriended these cats. Pushed them with intellect...(Here's the part of the story where I get you.)...yet Proverbs 4:2 will tell you how bad I have been slippin.

So in the new year, no more OG Bobby Sams...I let him be Daddy. I am Ray Sams...That mellow coach who gets the message across with kindness and wisdom...afterall, that will carry you further than a shouting match.

HAPPINESS IS...

Closing out the year, what can I say...this has been a wild rollercoaster ride from the depths of the unknown to the peaks of Tahoe back to the depths of the unknown. Life is truly a cycle and to be free of dependants, crutches and hardship my only way to close out the year is to provide my Happiness List:

Happiness is:

Rolling out of bed on a Saturday morning, turning off Sportscenter and jumping back in bed for a few more hours.

Playing golf in the warm Georgia Rain and scoring a low game.

Catching the eye of a beautiful woman and greeting her with a smile.

Walking. No destination, No Location, just walking outside.

Stepping out of the shower, looking in the mirror and not frowning at what I see.

A 6am coffee with cream and sugar.

Ashanti, Beyonce, Vivica and Alicia Keys.

No work in the cue, and actually enjoying my time off.

Reading email replies from old and new friends.

Seafood w/ butter and mash potatoes.

2nd round of sex... "I can't take no more..."

80 minutes of uninterupted well mixed music.

Driving in a White Land Rover.

Getting Praise from others.

Watching Children play.

Phone calls from strangers and loved ones...without obligation.

Having a woman in bed to fall asleep with.

Waking up with a woman in bed.

Drawing, Painting, Creating without obligation.

A good joke. Laughter and smiles.

Wiping away a few tears...

A stiff drink after a long day.

Getting the number from a beautiful woman, who chose me.

Talking to God.

Hearing a Church Choir sing.

Watching a child understand a lesson.

Closing a great deal.

"Never been here but Like it!"

Lion Hearts!

The Lion in my chest digs deep into my soul.
The Lion is my heart and it beats out of control.

I found my love and I love my art, yet the source of my joy has
torn my life apart. Work hard = hardly living. But living at work no one envies.

This Lion is my love for music, animation and movies. My soul screams for freedom, religion mixed with ecstasy, (the feeling not the drug). Freedom of oppression, responsibility and debt, yet the white rover has me feeling better than I have ever felt no doubt the secret is best kept. Rolling with faith not vision.


The Lion in my chest digs deep into my soul.
The Lion is my heart and it beats out of control.

I ramble on and on, till my teeth start to chatter. Items have me vexed because of the mindless music and worthless excuses that are meaningless without work. Aren't the fortunate the ones who build monuments of nothingness? While those who struggle become Scattered, smothered and covered...working for 7.oo and hour. Whistle while you twerk, curse out the jerk, rockin' gold teeth and seafood platters. I am a Lion and these folks are cheetahs or are they alley cats. Oh my God, tell me am I on the fence of poverty and oppression or am I on the outside looking in at a FEMA experiment. Wise up. Straighten up and fly right into the night with wings of a dove, drug free like Barry B. or is he. Clean and Cream suggest that we live a fallacy. Struggle in life becomes misery. But, soulless identity is not me. Can't you see, I want it all for me and my unplanned family...this is my ecstasy. Not the sexual exploitation of the females exhale but the expression of Love between male and female. This beat is deep. But the mind rarely sleeps. Dreaming of a jungle that is filled with concrete.

The Lion in my chest digs deep into my soul.
The Lion is my heart and it beats out of control.

This is not a test. Live and uncovered rated M for Molestation. Evil invades our streets entertainment and erogenous zones. The world is not ready for a witness. Platelets of states enjoy life as victims is what the govt suggests. Slavery continues Mental, Physical and Sexual...Education becomes second best. Meanwhile we swipe our slave badges of salary in the hopes to achieve the American Dream. or is it a Nightmare:

The night slipped deep into the darkness, the closed doors slowly opened, exposing a child sleeping a silent bliss. The fog crept over the bed of woven delights invading the sweet odor and enveloped the room with the stale stench of evil. Alcoholic abuse exhales cigarette clouds of demons, Angelic armies attack. The battle was in the mind of the beast, while the child slept innocent to the many victories and defeats. Oh the cries of the heavens and the cheers of sulfur. The chime of the harps and horns brought forth the Lion of Judah. Victory is ours...But that was the dream of the adult...the child dreamt of cotton jeans and pleasant smiles. When she awoke, her bed was filled with red feathers.
The feathers of the fallen angels both evil and angelic.

The Lion in my chest digs deep into my soul.
The Lion is my heart and it beats out of control.

Life is not short it moves on. The Lion Hearted must continue to stay strong. Be not afraid to conquer new lands, ideas or strange state of affairs. For the Angles roll into evil territories and their memories are never turned into mini-series. They are just bad ideas or strange urges. Bend back, or like Joe, lean back close your eyes and thank the squadron of angelic wisdom. Let the Lion become your voice, your heart and your soul.

The Lion in your chest now has control. Iron, Lion, Zion...Trinities soul patrol.

Remix this and you will see the true potential.
Read it once and fall victim to the demise of your predatory sense.

En Faith.